Dear Grace (3 months old)

Dear Grace,

We have had three special months together do far. These three months in which I was off work and spent every waking moment and every sleeping moment of every single day and night with you by my side. This has been the best three months of my entire life. You have taught me so much about myself already, and you've only been here three months.

Our first month together was not easy. Breastfeeding was difficult, but that wasn't your fault. You came out of the womb knowing what to do, and you latched on and breastfed within minutes of being born.

Our first month didn't involve much sleep for your dad or me. You wanted to sleep all day and stay awake all night. This may have been hard on us, but was perfect for our many visitors! Every single visitor in the first couple weeks got to feel the magical feeling of a peaceful, content, sleeping newborn in their arms. I was exhausted and in pain, but I never turned down visitors. I was so proud of my perfect baby, I wanted to show you off to the world.

Left: 3 weeks old   Right: 11 weeks old

A whole Christmas season flew past me. People got dressed up, went to holiday gatherings, New Year's Eve parties, and we weren't a part of any of it except for family gatherings. But we were a part of something much better, and that is you.

We took a road trip together when you were 4 weeks old! You were amazing in the car the whole way there and back. By amazing, I mean that you slept. Apparently some babies fuss and cry during car rides, but not you. As long as the car is moving, you are good to go.

Our second month together you started making real, intentional smiles. Your smiles are glorious. And we also started getting real 3 hour stretches of sleep at night (or more), which was amazing and life-changing. We did go through a colicky period, in which you screamed/cried for over an hour a night, several nights in a row and including at your own baptism. Thankfully, that was a phase and it passed.

Our third month together has been the best yet. I've taken you on errands and to friends' houses and you've done just fine. You have rolled from your tummy to your back! Best of all, you started making the sweetest baby talk sounds in the whole world. And you continue to amaze me every day.

There is no doubt in my mind that I will cherish these three months forever. This time in which my only job was to breastfeed you, hold you, play with you, sleep by you, and love you.

We spend every day cuddled up together, with you in my arms. You are so little. I sit cross legged on my bed and you fit perfectly in my lap. And in that moment, there is nowhere I'd rather be.

Grace, you won't ever remember this sacred time of ours, these first three months of your life. But it's a time I will never forget for as long as I live.