Grace's First Cold

I am so in love with our chubby cheeked, smiley 17-week old baby. There is nothing I would rather do than spend the day holding, feeding, cuddling, and playing with her.

This week was a hard one for us though. Grace caught her very first cold virus (after three days of daycare). Seeing my poor innocent baby suffer through this cold was heart wrenching for me. Her nose got stuffed up, so each breath sounded like a challenge for her. She coughed these sad little baby coughs that I could feel as I held her, and also which unfortunately woke her in her sleep.

The worst night of all, I put her to bed at 9pm. She woke up crying at 11pm, 1 am, 3am, and 5am. Each time needing at least a half hour of nursing or holding to fall asleep again. And then I had to leave for work at 7, in addition to having these same cold symptoms myself. Never before in my life would I have been able to teach on that little amount of sleep with a sore throat and cold. But I just powered through. Being a working mom, who just used up every sick day she has for maternity leave, really gives you no choice. 

This week gave me even more reasons to be thankful that Grace is with my mom for 2 days. Those were days that Grace could just be held all day, in the quarantine of our home, and not risk making her cold worse by being at daycare.  Daycare is so important for her.  Being around other kids, learning to be adaptable and socialized are all so important.  But, being with my mom for 2 days a week is absolutely priceless.  I think we have the perfect mix of care.  The only thing better would be if I were with her myself for at least one or two of the days.  But I don't think there are any first grade teaching jobs for 3 days a week, so we'll just carry on.

Our strategies for getting through the first cold:

1.) Let her sleep in the swing again. We had weaned her from the swing,  and she has adjusted well to the flat crib. But with her being so congested, there was no way I wanted to lay her down flat. So, the swing is at an incline and that is where she has slept all week while sick.
Not looking forward to doing sleep training again when she's well.

2.) Steamed up bathroom. Every time I showered, I put her in her bouncy seat in the bathroom with me. And I take very hot showers. This steamed up the whole bathroom and I'm hoping helped her feel a little better.

3.) Nose Frida. We used this to suck out some of the snot buildup in her nose. Sounds gross, and Grace absolutely hated it, but it worked.

4.) Breastfeeding. We had been trying to do bottle practice (bottle bootcamp), but that went out the window when she was sick. When my baby is sick, needs nourishment, and I can provide it, then I'm giving it.

Once she's better again, we'll return to our bottle practice and flat sleeping in the crib. But when she's sick, she needs sleep and breastfeeding, so that's what she got.

Now that she's on the mend, the fact that she had one little cold sounds so simple and not such a big deal.  But in the moment, I was in tears to see our tiny little baby suffering and to feel so powerless.

Part of parenting is seeing your little one experience pain, and I knew that would be hard. There may be times that I will be able to take her pain away, but more often than not, I'll just have to do what I can to guide her through it. Here's hoping I can toughen up, because there are sure to be plenty of colds and more in our future.

First Week Back to Work

Oh my goodness, I love moments like this.

Today is Thursday, so we've almost survived our first week of work and daycare.  I am so grateful for Brian, my mom, my friends, and these new peers of mine: my "mom friends".

The night before I went back to work, my friend Stephanie left a care package at my front door. It was full of goodies like lip gloss and lotion to help make me feel better about my first day away from Grace.  She knew how hard this was going to me, and it meant a lot.

The first morning I had to take Grace to daycare, Brian came with me.  He knew how hard this was going to be for me. He hugged me really tightly after we dropped her off. And he called me up right after we parted ways so he could talk to me for my whole drive in to work. I sobbed the whole way, and it meant a lot that he was there for me.  She is so tiny to be away from me for so many hours every day.  And I just couldn't bear it.

My first morning back at work, I needed some hugs. And the women at work who had been through this before were the ones who knew it more than anyone. They saw me in the hall, they made a big deal about being glad to see me, they enveloped me in a big hug, and whispered "it gets easier, I promise."

I started crying when I hugged Brooke. "I just miss Grace SO much." I mumbled. And when I looked at Brooke, I saw her eyes had welled up with tears for me.
"I know you do," she said. "But Grace will be okay. I'm here for you all day and all week. If you need a moment, you just let me know."
Her simple words meant so much to me, and helped me realize that I would be okay.

Picking Grace up on the first day was hard. Our daycare provider, Nemeh, insisted Grace was fine. But a little 3-year old boy said, "that baby cry all day", and my heart just sank. Nemeh explained that Grace just really wanted to be held and so she fussed when she wasn't being held.

When we got home, I had the evening planned out: I'd nurse Grace, we would play and cuddle. Then we'd do an early bedtime routine, since she was surely exhausted.

Grace had other plans. I nursed her from 4:15-5, and at 5:00 pm she fell asleep on my lap. I didn't realize how exhausted she was from daycare. She slept basically from 5pm-midnight, barely waking when I put her into PJs and her sleep suit at 8pm. Then at around 1 she went back asleep until 5 am. This was the longest block (5pm-5am) without any awake time (besides nursing) that she's ever done!

It turns out that daycare really did wear her out, and it makes me wonder if she really did cry all day long. What else would explain her falling asleep the second we arrive home and sleeping the rest of the evening/night?

Day 2 was much easier on me.  I am forever grateful to my mom for waking up in the wee early hours to come be with Grace on Tuesdays and Thursdays. The fact that I could wake up, nurse the baby, and put her sleeping back into her crib, was so much easier on me than strapping her into her car seat, taking and leaving her somewhere unfamiliar in the pitch dark.

Each day got better from there.  I am settling into my routine as a working mama, and it really isn't so bad.  Luckily, I'm home pretty much by 4pm every day, which gives me lots of cuddle time with Grace before she goes down to bed.  I miss her so much during the day, but honestly, getting back into my work life actually feels pretty good.

Today is Saint Patrick's Day. And it was actually one year ago today that I got my positive pregnancy test.  How much my whole world has changed, for the better.

It will probably never be easy for me to leave Grace.  Whether it's all day at daycare, or with my mom, or even just to leave her in the next room while she naps. But, I know I'm doing the right thing for our family by going back to work.  I know I'm meant to be a teacher, and luckily my job is really compatible with being a mom.  And in the meantime, only two more weeks until spring break! :-)

The Night Before Our World Changes

Well this is it.  My maternity leave has come crashing to an end. The fastest 15 weeks of my life are over.

Tomorrow I'll wake up at the crack of dawn, commute to work, meet with co-workers, and re-join society just like before.  Except that nothing is like it was before.

My life has changed more than I ever knew possible in just three short months.  How will I ever possibly go back to "normal" when my "normal" is nothing like it was before?  My wake up time will have to be an hour earlier than before, so that I can breastfeed my little leisurely eater for a whole hour.  My lunch break will no longer be spent preparing for lessons, but will be spent pumping milk for her to have the next day.  My brain will be total mush because ALL I think about is Grace.  That's IT.

Here are a few notes I wish I could send before tomorrow starts:

Dear US Government,

You're sending a confusing message.  You're recommending that babies are breastfed for at least 12 months (http://www.cdc.gov/breastfeeding/faq/).  But you're only requiring companies to allow 12 weeks of time off.  Breastfeeding and working do not mix.  I'm not going to complain about FMLA, because I was glad to have it.  But, a mother shouldn't have to leave her 12 week baby who hasn't known anyone else.  She should be allowed to take more time, at least up to 4-6 months, unpaid if it has to be, with the security of knowing that her job is available when she returns.   I can't even imagine the poor mothers who have to return to work at 6 weeks, when their body hasn't healed and their baby doesn't sleep. I am so lucky I got 15 weeks, but I would give anything for more.

Dear Co-Workers,

I'm sorry.  I'm sorry in advance that I might break down in tears tomorrow.  I'm sorry that I have been gone for 3.5 months and have not caught up with you about anything at all, personally or professionally.  I'm sorry that I might not pull my weight when I first return.  I'm going to be struggling just to keep up.  Please understand. Please forgive me.  I will need you so much in these coming weeks.  I promise I will be a good co-worker again someday.

Dear First Graders,

My sweet little students.  I can't wait to see your smiling faces and give you each a big hug.  I can't wait to hear about how many teeth you lost, the snow day you had, and what reading level you're at now.  It's going to be your bright, happy faces that get me through the days this week.

Dear Daycare,

I'm trusting you with the most valuable thing I have.  This little 14 pound creature is more important to me than anything I've ever known. You are experienced, kind, and professional, and I know she'll be fine with you.  I know you know what you're doing.  She's going to cry, and she's probably going to scream-cry.  Please be patient with her.  She is so so little.

Dear Mom,

(I can tell you this in person anyway).  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  It means the world to me that my baby can be with her grandma for 2 days a week.  The fact that she will have 2 days a week with someone who loves her so deeply as you do is just amazing.  She will never know how lucky she is to have this special time with you.  But I know how lucky she is, and how lucky I am.

Dear Brian,

We made it. We made it through the newborn baby stage and through this maternity leave.  We struggled together through my breastfeeding struggles, baby sleep struggles, baby colic struggles, and more.  And we have much more challenges ahead of us.  You work so hard to provide for our family.  You inspire me every day with your persistence in everything you do.  I'm so grateful for you and I hope you know that.

Dear Grace,

I'm sending you to daycare tomorrow.  I'm not leaving you forever, although 10 hours may feel like forever (to me at least).  You will be with people who look different, feel different, sound different, and smell different than your mom. But they will be trying to comfort you, soothe you, feed you, and put you to sleep, just like your mom tries to do.  Please, please let them.  I will be counting down the seconds until I pick you up and hold you and kiss your chubby little cheeks.

I know I can do this.  Daycare will be so good for socializing Grace. She will get so much more stimulation than she ever would get from me at home.
I am a teacher.  I was a teacher before and I'm still a teacher now.  My students are counting on me, and I can be there for them.

I'm just going to take it one day at a time.  I've been fortunate enough to have 15 amazing weeks at home with this sweet little angel.  And I'll still have every single evening and weekend together with her.  And hopefully each day will get a little easier as it goes.

Mid March

He always makes time to cuddle
our sweet baby

Well, it has arrived. The time that's been looming over our heads for about a year now: Mid March.

Mid March is when I have to go back to work. When my days spent breastfeeding and bouncing my sweet angel baby all day long are all over. When Grace's world gets rocked for 3 days a week because it isn't the all-Grace show all the time. But if that was all that mid-March meant to us, that might not be so bad.

It also means the kick off of our family business season.

It means that simultaneously, when I will begin working, Brian will kick off the busiest season of his life, launching his business in Detroit. Not only will he be working full time at his regular job, but he'll be working full time on his additional job. And it's no joke. The season has barely launched, and he is already working on it every waking moment.

This is going to be hard.

It's going to be hard on me, going back to teaching, taking calls for Indy, doing daycare drop offs and pickups, bath time, bedtime and all the night time wake ups every single night.

A much simpler time

It's going to be hard on Brian, working full days in Ann Arbor, then driving to Detroit to put in another 6-8 hours of work, plus 12 hour workdays Saturdays and Sundays. He will have truly no rest.

It's going to be hard on our marriage. We will need to avoid getting caught up in who has it harder, who is doing more work, who needs to help more. All we can do is our best to support each other, help out when we can, show each other love any way we can and I know we'll survive.  We are and always have been a great team.

I'm excited for our family business to grow and to see what it will become.  We're lucky that we have my parents here and they are a huge help already. I'm excited to see my students and my coworkers and to be out of the house.  I'm dreading this time, but I know there will be good out of this. 

Mid March is here, whether we're ready for it or not.

15 Weeks Old

Today we have a 15 week old baby.  And this 15 week baby will be starting daycare on Monday, Grandma care on Tuesday, and I already miss her even though she's next to me right now.

I've always wanted to be a mom.  I'm so thankful that now I am a mom.  But, I'm even more thankful that I'm her mom. It's as if I ordered a product, and it arrived, and it took a little bit to get used to.  But now that I'm used to this product, it's as if I got something so much better, and so much more amazing, than I ever ordered.  How did I get so lucky to get this smiley, happy, chubby cheeked little girl?

Which begs the question, will she be her sweet, happy self next week?  When she is put in an all new environment with all kinds of bigger, louder kids?  Will she freak out and scream? (Gosh I hope not, but most likely, yes).

This week I have done what I can to help her prepare.  She has now slept in her crib for one full week, for all night time sleeps and most daytime naps.  This should have her ready to sleep on a flat surface crib at daycare.  We've practiced putting her down awake, so she learns to self-soothe and fall asleep on her own. We've done multiple bottles a day, every day, since last weekend. Some bottles were a fight, some weren't, but each day it got a little easier.  We visited daycare so she could look around a little.

Now, all that's left is for me to cherish this weekend with her and every single cuddle until Monday morning.

Here are some current Grace updates:

FOOD: Grace is still breastfeeding, although we are ready to add in formula at any point for daytime feedings if I'm unable to pump enough to keep up with her demand.  Good news, her stomach seems to have matured to the point where the gas drops aren't so necessary anymore.  I still give them a few times a day, but she isn't writhing in pain every time she passes gas anymore.

SIZE: Grace fits size 6 month clothes perfectly now (usually after they're washed).  Baby sizing is such a guess to me.  At 2 months old, she was a perfectly average baby size and yet was starting to fit in 6 month clothes, so bizarre. She is in size 2 diapers.  Based on me weighing myself, and weighing myself holding her, she weighs 14 pounds.  That is double the weight she was when we took her home from the hospital.

LIKES: She loves when people smile at her, and she smiles right back.  She loves to "talk", and will exercise her vocal chords (sometimes very loudly), when she is in a good mood.  It is absolutely precious and I love it.  She likes her "play gym", a mat where I lay her down and she bats at things above her.

She doesn't fall asleep on me as much
anymore.  It is the best ever when she
does though.

DISLIKES: She doesn't like being put into her "Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit".  She will fuss almost immediately.  But, once she's in it, she seems to calm down.
She doesn't like when people aren't looking at her.  She wants our attention!  She doesn't like drinking from a bottle, but she's adjusting to it.

SLEEP: Her naps are in her crib (which is great!), but they're just 30 minutes long on the dot.  I've read that babies start extending their naps to be longer by 6 months, so hopefully she'll start doing that. At night, her longest sleeping stretch is from about 11pm-4am.  I try to put her to sleep earlier every night, but she just wakes up and won't actually ever fall asleep until around 11.  Daylight Savings is this weekend, so I have no clue how that's going to impact us.  Our whole sleep schedule will be off anyway, once I start waking her up at 5:30 am to nurse before daycare.  Maybe it's actually a good thing we'll have daycare starting and daylight savings starting to get the sleep disruptions taken care of all at once.

I love this sweet face so much.

MILESTONES: She laughed!  She has been smiling for awhile now, but this week, she gave a true giggle to Brian a few times and me a few times. It was precious. Also, she actually is starting to like tummy time!  She can hold her head up for a good 5 minutes on her tummy before starting to fuss. I think she now actually notices/likes the view she gets from that perspective.  She is starting to use her hands more intentionally to grasp and hold onto things (like my hair or the strings on my hooded sweatshirt).

At 15 weeks, Grace is smiley, happy, vocal, and just the sweetest little thing I've ever been around in my life.

Products to Survive the First Three Months

Today it finally feels like spring in Michigan. It's a beautiful day.  I took Grace to vote in the primary elections, we went to Meijer to stock up on essentials for daycare, she drank 3 bottles today (still "bottle bootcamp"), and she's napping peacefully in her crib.

It's a day like this where I think to myself, "I can handle this!  I can be a mom and a functioning adult.  I've survived newborn stage and now I have a real baby and I feel like a real mom!"

It's almost like I hibernated this winter.  The best possible hibernation, with the sweetest little baby bear, and now I'm emerging and ready to re-join the world, this time as a mom.

As I look back on those first three months of her life, there are a few products that I want to make note of, NOT forget about, and use when (if) we have a second child someday.

A note to remember: My sister in law, Colleen, told me when I was pregnant: "You're going to want a baby swing and a baby bouncer for sure." I nodded but honestly did not believe her.  A swing and a bouncer?? Sounded like useless clutter to me. I didn't know that a baby swing is actually more like a bassinet that rocks, and that would lull a baby to sleep (valuable, precious sleep)!  I didn't know that a bouncer is more like a safe yet entertaining place to set the baby down when you just can't hold her 24/7.  So, I didn't register for either of those.  When Colleen saw me a week after giving birth, she kindly offered me to borrow some of her baby gear, and I realized she was 100% right. You definitely need a bouncer and a swing!

Here is my list of products that helped us survive months 1-3:

Swaddled tightly in the swing =
recipe for good sleep

1.) The swaddle. And I don't mean the swaddle blankets they give you in the hospital.  The nurses are pros, and can tie those up tightly, but I never picked up that skill.  Maybe because I was also learning so many other skills all at once. I mean the kind of easy swaddle you can purchase.  Swaddling is vital to survival.

2.) The swing.  I'll admit I didn't want the swing in my house.  I didn't want ANY baby gear.  I thought it was tacky and unnecessary.  Boy was I wrong.  The swing is absolutely vital to survival.  Even now at three months, it's still useful to calm her down or when she's in need of a longer nap than she'll take in the crib.

3.) Lansinoh cream.  This was the best stuff for my poor poor nipples.  The pain for the first month of breastfeeding was excruciating at times.  We tried several creams, but this was the best for me.

4.) Desitin cream.  My poor baby will get diaper rash any time I don't use this.  I bought a few fancy organic diaper rash creams, but none of them worked as well as old fashioned Desitin.

5.) Outfits with footies and cuffs, and also baby mitts.  My baby came out of the womb scratching her face.

6.) Nursing tank tops.  These are amazing.  But honestly, by the second month, I just started going braless all day (on days that we weren't having visitors).  I wasn't leaving the house.  I wasn't trying to impress anyone but Grace, and she was very impressed with how much quicker she could get milk when there was no bra to fuss with.

7.) Baby bouncy seat.  This also was amazing (and something I previously thought unnecessary).  For new parents to sit and eat dinner, or start some laundry, the bouncy seat is perfect for babies.  It's different than the swing, because it's not meant to lull the baby to sleep.  It's supposed to be for awake time, when mom and dad just need a moment.

Nursing pillow: Used for lots more than just nursing!

8.) Nursing pillow.  Preferably in a neutral tone without any patterns or colors, because it's likely going to be in lots of pictures.

9.) The Rock and Play OR a bassinet!  A bassinet is nice because it's flat (to prepare for future crib sleeping) and can be reached easily from your own bed.  The Rock and Play is nice because it's on an incline (to help with reflux) and it can gently vibrate (babies love motion). Grace slept in the Rock and Play for the entire first three months of her life.

Now that she's officially three months, some of my current most used items now are: 1.) Merlin's Magic Sleepsuit! Seriously, that sleep suit has saved my life and it helped us transition her to sleep in the crib!  2.) Ergobaby carrier.  It is the easiest and sturdiest of all baby carriers.  I love it. 3.) Video baby monitor.

I always knew that the first three months would be challenging.  And it turns out that the cheesy "clutter" of baby gear is actually totally worth it.

Grace is growing more and more each day.  So I'm off to find out from Colleen what gear I'll need for ages 3-6 months.  And this time I'll trust her off the bat!

Bottle Bootcamp

Grace, please remember what to do
with this bottle!

In continuing our "daycare prep", we decided to do bottles of pumped milk with Grace as much as possible in this last week before I go back to work.  Unfortunately, I'm learning that bottle refusal is an actual, true problem.  Actually, for me right now, instead of a problem, it is a nightmare.

Breastfeeding has become so easy.  It's just a calm, peaceful time when I hold her in my arms, and she feeds as long as her heart desires.  Sometimes she'll doze off after, but no matter what, there are no tears involved in it. And hopefully, we can get bottle feeding to be like this as well.  But right now (as of the past two days), when we offer the bottle, she screams bloody murder, for hours.  We are both completely worn out from trying different positions and times of day and bottle temperatures, etc.

A few friends had actually told us about bottle refusal, and I (naively) thought to myself that this wouldn't be a problem for us.  I thought, "a baby can't refuse something, you just make her take it".  Well, she can refuse her bottle. Here's how: by opening her mouth as wide as possible and letting out shrill screams.  There's no way she can suck a drop of milk down when she's doing this.  Especially when it seems like you're torturing her.

Please baby, please please drink this!

The hardest part for me when she is sobbing and crying refusing the bottle, is knowing that I could just breastfeed her right then and it would calm her and fill her belly all at once.  Especially when she turns her head right to my breast, opens her mouth wide, and almost gets a mouthful of sweatshirt. But, that won't help her next week at all.

So, bottle bootcamp has commenced.  This week I will nurse her before bed, I'll nurse her in the middle of the night wake ups, and first thing in the morning.  But every other feeding other than those will be from the bottle.  This is not desirable on my part, because it involves pumping (a big pain) plus bottle feeding.  BUT, it's what has to be done in order to make sure she will eat next week from my mom and from Nemeh at daycare.

Success! Thank goodness!

She took 4 bottles total throughout the day Sunday, thank goodness, but not without a hunger strike first on her part and many many tears from both her and me.  It's a terrible feeling, that your baby might not be getting her full nourishment. 

I've always known that a part of parenting is making your child do the tough thing when it is the best thing for them.  I know that when she's in elementary school and wants to eat sugary cupcakes for snack, it's up to us as her parents to refuse no matter how many tears she cries.  When she's in middle school, and wants to watch TV instead of studying for a test, it's up to us to force the studying, no matter what kind of tantrum we get.  When she's in high school, and wants a later curfew like her friends, it will be up to us to refuse.

I just didn't realize that this would start at 3 months old.  She wants the breast.  She needs the bottle. Our first battle of the wills. So, bottle bootcamp has begun and will continue all week.

Preparing for Daycare and a little "Magic"

Every time I think that I couldn't possibly love Grace any more than I already do, she smiles and my heart just grows even bigger for her.  This little baby has captured by heart and soul and I would do anything in the world for her.

This week I realized I have exactly ONE WEEK left until I go back to work.  Before I can get my lesson plans and school work ready, I need to prepare Grace for her huge shock to her system that's about to happen!

I am proud to be a working mom.  I am proud to know that I'm contributing to our family income, that I'm going to be raising our little girl and also working full time.  But of course I'm sad and worried about leaving her.  I want her to be as ready as she can be for this.

I just picture her at daycare, waking up from a nap, with unfamiliar surroundings, unfamiliar sounds, unfamiliar people, and it breaks my heart.  Thankfully, she will be with my mom 40% of the time (Tuesdays/Thursdays).  And for the first few weeks, she will be with my mom at my house, with her own familiar surroundings.

So, in order to best prepare Grace for daycare, I realized she needs to be able to do the following things:

1.) Sleep in a flat crib.  (Which she had never done in her life)

2.) Fall asleep on her own.  This means without being nursed to sleep (Which happens very rarely.  That's apparently a drawback of breastfeeding: Babies fall asleep while nursing, and both parent and baby come to rely on nursing as a sleep crutch)

3.) Drink out of a bottle (another drawback of exclusive nursing, baby can apparently have a lot of trouble transitioning to a bottle.)

(Mental note for if we ever have baby #2: give a bottle a day from day one so that the baby never has a chance to forget how to drink out of a bottle).

Regarding problem # 3.), bottle refusal has me worried.  When I put the bottle in her mouth, she refuses to suck, and lets it sit there, moving her tongue all around it, causing the milk to drool all over her face.  Out of the past 4 times I've tried to get her to take a bottle, she only took one once, (after plenty of milk getting spit out or drooling all over her).  I'm very worried that she won't eat at daycare or for my mom, but everyone seems to say "when she gets hungry enough, she'll take the bottle".  I'm hoping that's true.

Problems # 1.) and 2.) both have to do with Grace taking naps at daycare, which are going to be vital for her, but will surely be a problem.  I've been nursing her to sleep or bouncing her to sleep for every single nap and sleep since she was born!  She doesn't know how to fall asleep on her own. And if she is somewhere new, without being able to fall asleep for naps, it will become a nightmare!  She gets cranky if she is awake for any amount longer than 2 hours!  She'll be at daycare for about 10 hours, so she'll definitely need to sleep at least a few times in there.

Enter "Merlin's Magic Sleep Suit".  I've known about this product for awhile, but the minimum recommended age is 3 months old.  So, as soon as Grace turned 3 months, I ordered it from Amazon.com.  Apparently, the sleep suit restricts/muffles the baby's arms and legs enough to calm her down, and "magically" you can put your baby down awake and she'll fall asleep on her own (no bouncing or nursing).

So, Friday night we gave it a try.  She fussed for about a half hour (with some crying, but more fussing), and then fell asleep.  She woke up again an hour later.  This time she fussed for about 15 minutes, and then fell asleep for 5 straight hours. Flat on her back, IN HER CRIB. It was amazing.

Today, she took 3 naps in her sleep suit (in her crib).  Each one, she fell asleep on her own after about 5 minutes of noise making.  The downside is that each nap was only about 30 minutes.  (When she used to nap in the swing, she would sleep for 1.5 - 2 or maybe even 3 hours).  So, now night #2 is approaching.  Can the magic sleep suit actually be our answer?

I ordered a second "Magic Sleepsuit" already for Grace to have at daycare.  It will give me so much piece of mind to know that she is able to fall asleep there.  Overtired baby is not pleasant to be around and would be a bad situation all around.

Three Months and Sleep Updates

Our three month baby girl is growing and developing new skills all the time.

Here are a few updates with Grace:

- she seems to recognize her name! She was laying down next to Brian and me, just being cute, and whenever Brian said "Grace!" She turned her head and looked at him. It was very cool and the first time we've seen her differentiate the word Grace from anything else we say. 

- her eyes can follow moving objects more smoothly. She used to kind of turn her head slowly in the direction of whatever moving object was placed in front of her. Now, her head and gaze can follow us all around the room or at a toy as it's placed in front of her.

- she can grab toys (kind of)! When I place an object near her, she can reach, clumsily grasp it, and attempt to bring it to her mouth. Sometimes she has a tight grip! Everything always goes right to her mouth.

- more supported weight on her feet. Grace loves to stretch her legs out, especially when someone is holding her and she can "stand" ok both legs. It is cool though, to see how strong her legs and neck are becoming.

- she notices her own feet! Lately I've seen her kick a foot and watch it move. She reaches for her feet as she wiggles them. She hasn't grabbed a foot yet, but she's definitely aware of her feet and watching them.

- she has tons of saliva. Grace has been drooling everywhere, all the time.  The blows these tiny little spit bubbles and just constantly has a steady stream of saliva coming from her mouth.  Supposedly this isn't even bad and once she starts teething, that's when the saliva starts.  But right now, to me it seems really excessive!

Sleep update:

In other news, Grace spent her first night in her own bedroom last night. She wasn't in her crib (I'm told you can't switch rooms and switch beds all at once), but she was in her swing in her room.

I had reached my breaking point with sleep. Our blissful 6 hour stretches were gone and in fact, I wasn't even getting three hour stretches. That's right, Grace was sleeping for about 1-2 hours and waking up, all night long. Sometimes,  I hadn't even fallen asleep and she was up again.

Adding this to the fact that I am returning to work in two weeks, something had to change. When I am actively teaching/entertaining/counseling first graders all day, it would be best if I had at least a three hour stretch of sleep the night before.

Babies' sleep cycles are about one hour long each, and in between each one, Grace is having "wakeful" periods. These  wakeful periods either involve her "talking" to herself, whining, grunting, fussing, or worst case: crying. Since Grace had been sleeping literally one foot from my bed, this meant I was waking every hour on the hour as well. I'm fact, she could even be sound asleep and let out a loud screech (still sleeping), which of course was waking me up too. It was absolutely exhausting, and I was in tears from having no sleep.

So, last night, we moved her swing out of my bedroom and into hers. The  bedrooms are next door to each other, which gives me some comfort. This way, when she's halfway awake in between sleep cycles, and just making random noises, she will be less likely to wake me up. But she's still close enough still so that if she wakes up fully, doesn't lull herself back to sleep, and is actually crying, then I can go in to comfort her.

Last night was hard. Brian and I gave her the regular night time routine, which is supposed to signal to her that it's bedtime. Lights turned down, white noise on, bath, swaddle, snuggles, feeding. Then we put her down in her swing, in her big girl bedroom, alone.

She woke up about 4 times fussing between 10pm and midnight. But then, she and I both slept from 12-4:30. If she had any wakeful periods, they weren't loud enough to wake me. I woke up at 4:30 to feed her and I felt like a new person. We got one additional hour from 5:30-6:30. 5 total hours of sleep! I could function at work after a night like that.

For these past three months, Grace has been my entire world. I have spent every day living, breathing, sleeping, and feeding in Grace's world. She has been my entire world, and Brian and I have been hers.

That's all about to change. She will always be the best part of my world (besides Brian), but she will now become just part of it, not the entire thing.

I've loved having my entire world be all Grace all the time. But the real world is calling. And I'm heading back to work March 14 whether we're sleeping at night or not. So whatever I can do now to prepare, that's what I'll be doing these next two weeks.