Christmas 2017

When Grace was first born, in November of 2015, I felt like I missed that whole Christmas season.  We hunkered down, we cuddled up, we nursed, we napped, and we held our sweet newborn.  But, we didn't attend a single Christmas function outside of the usual family ones.  And, to the family ones, we were hours late.  And I was in a separate room, nursing for most of the time.

It was my sweetest Christmas ever.  But it didn't feel like it.

Last year, November 2016, Grace had just turned one year old.  We were still doing two naps a day, one in the morning and one in the afternoon.  That left most social functions out of the picture.  That holiday season felt like a blur as well.

This year was different.  This year, we have a walking, talking, two year old.  I wanted to really take advantage of the season with her, and we certainly did.

We met Santa a few times!  We met up with many friends.  We were almost on time to most family Christmas events.  It was a wonderful time.  I already can't wait to do another holiday season with her.

We met Santa at the Weber's brunch with Santa.  Grace wasn't having it.

It was a fun brunch with all of our friends, though!

This year was the first year I had heard about the Christmas party at Downtown Home and Garden.  They bring in farm animals, Santa and Mrs. Clause, the Community High Jazz Band, and free food.  It was a great time!

The Santa at Downtown Home and Garden gave each child an orange!  What a great idea!

We had a visit from Henry Carlson.  He is two months older than Grace, and these two played so well together.

Daddy and Mommy had a date night in Detroit!  Thank you to Grandma and Grandpa LaMoreaux!

Grace loved playing with the nativity at Aunt Sandy's.

Grace did NOT love her tights that went so well with her Christmas outfit.

On Christmas Eve, we saw a bunny outside in Aunt Sandy's backyard.

Matching jammies with her cousins!

Good thing we have Uncle Stephen to do silly dances and get everyone laughing for the pic!

Love for Grandma and Grandpa Lindsay

She didn't really want to sit for pictures with us.  But she did.  And she even smiled (kind of).

What a very merry Christmas we had.  Looking forward to 2018!

A Breastfeeding Conclusion

"You never know when it will be your last time, until it's already done.  One day, you'll pick up your child, hold her, put her down, and you'll never pick her up again.  She'll grow up and you won't even realize it."

That's how the end of two years of nursing came to be.

Last Saturday, when she woke up, she cried to nurse just like she has every single morning after waking up for her whole life.  She nursed, just a quick session, because she was eager to get to her books.  Our latest routine had been nursing plus books every time before bed and every time she wakes up.

We left for Ludington for a wonderful Christmas holiday the next day.  Somehow, in all the business and excitement, she didn't ask to nurse.

I didn't remind her, I didn't offer her, and she didn't ask.

When we got home, back into routine, she did ask to nurse before bed.  I told her "mama's milk is all gone, empty."
She said, "Let's try!"
I said, "sorry, honey, it's all gone."

And luckily, I was prepared with a book that had just arrived in the mail: "Mama's Milk is All Gone".  We read it a few times yesterday, and a few more times today, and she hasn't asked to nurse since.


In the very beginning, I knew I wanted to nurse, I even took a course on breastfeeding, but immediately after she was born, the pain from breastfeeding was so terrible. I never thought I could nurse her past one month.  That first month was so excruciatingly painful.  But I knew it was good for her.  I knew there was nothing better to nourish her with than my own milk. I knew the closeness would be such a good bonding experience for us, even though at the time I counted down the seconds until she was done each session.

Then, the months passed and the pain went away.  Nursing no longer was painful.  It became such a special, precious time for Grace and me.

Pumping while I was at work or otherwise away from her was not easy.  Washing bottles, washing pump parts, always keeping track of each pump part and all the bottle parts.  Pumping is terrible.  But, it kept up my supply, and helped me to keep nursing.


Then she turned one year old.  She no longer needed to nurse.  It was now more about comfort and bonding.  And suddenly, I felt I also no longer had all the positive support I had from others that I had had in the beginning.

But we kept on.  We kept on for the whole second year.
She learned to ask for nursing.  First by saying "laddle laddle laddle" at some point around 13 months.  Then later (maybe around 16 months), she started saying "murse".  And around 19 months, she'd just say the word "nurse".  And before she turned two, she would say "I want to nurse, Mommy!"

And then, at 24 months old, the last time happened, and I didn't even know it was our last time until a few days later.

I'm proud of myself for nursing her for two full years.
But I'm proud of her, too.  I'm proud of her for accepting this.  For realizing that she's growing up, getting bigger, and accepting it.

She is my big girl and I am so proud of both of us.  I could not love her any more.

Two Years Old

Wow! If Grace's first year was fast, her second year was honestly even faster.
12 months old to 24 months old is really such a huge difference.  From a practically still a baby at 12 months, and only saying "ma' and "da" and "bu" (bunny), to speaking full sentences and paragraphs.

Every single day I am reminded of how lucky I am to be her mommy.  There is no better feeling than holding her in my arms.  I know she's a big 27 pound toddler, but I will gladly cuddle her in my arms any time she wants.

Grace at 24 months old is silly, funny, clingy to mommy still, smart, and so so sweet.

The biggest update would be that her language is now clearer and more complex than ever.
We can have actual two-sided conversations with her.

Me: "Who did you play with at school today, Grace?"
Grace: "Hadrian, Olive, August.  Hadrian cried."
Me: "Why did Hadrian cry?"
Grace: "he bumped his knee."

I love that I can get brief updates from her about her own day, instead of only relying on the narrative written by her daycare teachers.

She loves her newfound ability to negotiate, and she negotiates with us every chance she gets.  Before bed, it's "one more book! one more water! need the other blanket!  need my hair in a ponytail!"

In addition, she's now very opinionated about her clothes, which has not been easy on me.  She prefers comfort over all else (like her mama) and wants to wear only her fleece sweatpants everywhere.  This is mostly fine, since she's still a toddler! But, I don't necessarily want her wearing fleece sweats for a for a fancy Santa brunch or church!
 In addition, once she becomes attached to a clothing item, she doesn't want to wear anything else, even when she's outgrown it.

I do miss the days when I could dress her in cute outfits (or even just any outfit) without her crying out for some other clothing item that isn't seasonally appropriate or that no longer fits.

Anyway, my goal is to find some clothes that she and I both love (maybe letting her choose them), so that getting out the door will become somewhat easier.

Grace is still fully committed and attached to her Bunny (as noticeable in our fall family photos).  I had a minor fiasco in which I tried to switch Bunny to a fresh new clean one, but she wasn't having it and I caved, so we now have two Bunnies.

Grace can give us a tough time in the house (not wanting diaper changes, trying to stand up on the couch, not wanting to go into bath), but when it really counts, she can behave perfectly.  She behaves so so well when we are out and about, for example at church, at restaurants, at Meijer, and with friends.

Grace has sat on the potty many times to go pee and poo, but we haven't moved on to the next step yet in potty training.  She doesn't seem to want to sit on the potty very much, and since she only just turned two, I'm not pushing it heavily quite yet.

Daddy's busy season at work is over for the moment, and so she's had more than usual daddy-daughter time lately, and she is loving all the special time with him.  He gives her piggy back rides around our house and reads her endless books again and again.
I will be sad when he becomes "favorite parent", but I've had a nice long run of it and I love seeing their relationship blossom.


Grace truly is my sun, my moon, and my stars.  Her smile lights up my day from the moment she wakes up (5am lately - BUT she's sleeping through the night, so I'll take it) until the moment she goes to sleep.

Two years old is absolutely exhausting.  When I had a newborn, I thought "Toddlers must be so easy.  They can WALK and they can TALK!  Newborn is what's the hardest!"  But now I'm truly learning that every single age is hard.  Two years old is so hard.  But it's also absolutely amazing.  She is absolutely amazing.  She's everything I ever could have dreamed of in a daughter.  I can't wait to see what the year ahead has in store.